Death and War

Well, I guess the big news of the week is the killing of Osama Bin Laden. I feel guilty for feeling happy about this. I feel sad because I know it is not the end. He is dead but another will most likely take his place, if not now then sometime in the future. To some he was a martyr to us in America he is the most vile creature that has ever walked the planet. Can both views be true? Is the killing of thousands in the name of Allah any better than the killing of thousands in the name of vengeance? I don't know that there is any right answer to this. The only think that I think makes our side slightly more right, in my view, is that he struck first. The world is better off without him in the end.

" What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun."

Kohelet - Ecclesiastes - 1:9

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

(Robert Frost, 1923)

Good News

All that worry and the blood issue is just some kidney stones. Thank God. I've been worried for a couple of weeks now. A phone call from the DR's office would have been wonderful. They did it to tell me I didn't have an infection but they couldn't do it to tell me I don't have cancer. Oh, well. I'll just look at it as a bad diet plan that did help me to lose about 12-15 lbs.

Still having some stomach issues but I think that might be just nerves as well. We'll see.

One More Day ...

One more day and then maybe I'll have an answer. Its amazing to me how much stress one word can cause. One mention of it and I suddenly feel like every ache, pain or twinge is a symptom. Psychosomatic or real? I guess that's the question. I've had blood in my urine for over three years and the last Urologist wasn't worried about it. This one is. Which was or is right. I hope the last was. We'll see. One good thing, the stress has definitely led to some weight loss.

The whole ordeal has given me some insights into how my brother felt when he thought something was wrong with him. It also helps me t understand what his wife felt like while she was waiting for an answer to one of her medical problems.

CT Scan

I went to get a CT scan today. The DR hasn't read it yet so I still have no word. On Monday they called me up to tell me that I did not have an infection in my bladder. I'm like, OK but what about cancer? They said that test hadn't come back yet. Honestly, I don't really care about not having an infection. For the most part you take some antibiotics and boom, no infection. Oh, well. Waiting is hard. I know how my sister-in-law felt while waiting for her results. Its hard to sleep a full night. Its even hard to get through a work day.

New Snake

My amelanated corn snake, Rosey, died last month. Because I accidentally had left a male mouse in with he female mice I was left with an overabundance of the little rodents. When my brother came to visit this weekend I was telling him about my plight. Right at as I was talking to him I noticed one of the mice had gotten out of the plastic Bin that they live in. I grabbed it before it could escape and threw it back into the bin. I had not fully removed the cover of the bin so I did not know what was happening but there seemed to be a minor commotion happening in the enclosure. I looked through the opaque side of the bin and saw the shadow of a small snake randomly striking at the mice. When I popped the top off I found this small emory rat snake fending off a bunch of scared and angry mice. The bulge in its belly tells me that one of the mice ended up on his dinner plate.

Well, I saw the urologist today. No answers yet. He did perform the finger wave (shudder) and scheduled me for more tests. He threw around the "C" word but basically said that he wanted to make sure that it was not this. He did not offer an opinion one way or another other than that.

I pray that it is not. Its hard not knowing whats going on. I'm afraid to look up anything about the disease. I guess I am afraid that if I do I'll jinx myself and make it so.

To top it all off, I think I picked up something while I was waiting in the Emergency room the other day. I spent 10 hours there just to be told that I wasn't in any immediate danger of dying. I guess that's a plus.